17.

The frost creeps in at night

Covering the ground in ice

Glistening in the harsh moonlight

Muted and suspended in time.

A carriage upon which I am

Plods through the bleak land

Black stark against the white

Me and my silent entourage.

Barren trees lined the path

Fallen leaves guided the way

Crushed beneath heavy soles

And carriage wheels as we go.

Silence is the music of this night

But crows joined in with dissonant notes

Strained are the voices entrapped

Within the solemn faces of my men.

The crying wind ushers us to the place

Where even angels fear to tread

The broken tower tolls its bell

Breaking the noiseless enchanted spell.

Within the frozen ground I lay my head

A sea of tears blanket my legs

And I sink into the unfathomable darkness

As the unforgiving watcher danced upon my grave.

Deeper I slip into gaping darkness

My slumber turns into formless dreams

So deep is the aching chill of this casket

My bones rot and my heart freeze over and over.

In the deep set enveloping darkness

Wrapped inside this never ending dream

A tiny pin-prick of light

Shines from deep within.

A quiet Voice whispers

In the deafening stillness

Echoing through the hollow chamber

Beckons and calls to me.

Though the light is small

Barely a dancing flame upon a candle’s wick

Yet in this encompassing darkness and cold

It burns a raging blaze.

The Voice that calls

Is ever so gentle and warm

Thaws and sears this frozen heart

And brings spring within the storm.

The darkness melts in tendrils away

Shedding and pealing like sludge

Layer by layer it falls aground

As I am reborn once again.

Just like a little butterfly

Breaking from its trappings

Fleeing the icy wintry land

Dissolving into the coming spring.

In this land where death hangs like a cloying mist

Reflects in my eyes a field for hope

As the light shines and burns on in my heart

The accusing reaper rails and roils in helpless fury.

For disillusioned and lost I am no longer

Freed I am from the prison of dreams and death

In light of Truth my eyes are opened

To the Holy One that calls me by name.

16.

Where are You my Lord

In this daily world of mine?

Mired and buried deep in endless routine

I lose sight of what is before me.

Oh my Lord, hear my call

As I seek to know You in secret places

Refresh me and reveal to me a new part of You

Each day in my life.

Oh my Lord, help me I pray

To see the wonder and the beauty of You

To know my Lord that I am never apart from You

In every moment of my breath.

Oh my Lord, open my eyes

To see the world through Your eyes

To find You in every place

In all that is around me.

Oh my Lord, help me remember consciously

The blessings You have so lavishly poured onto me

And for Your loving presence and mighty hand

In my everyday life.

As so oh Lord that I do not forget

To acknowledge Your authority over me

To praise You in all occasions

And Your name be always on my lips in thanksgiving.

Oh my Lord, forgive me

For taking for granted

All the things that seems to come so naturally

The simple things that are ever constant in life.

For not realising oh Lord

That with just one word

Everything in this world that I am familiar with

Will be swept away in an instant.

Like dust in the wind.

For my Lord, You created the heaven and the earth

You dictate the passage of the sun and the moon

All that was, is and will be is within the palm of Your hands

You are the Author of Life, the Beginning and the End.

Oh Lord, may You be glorified

In all of my days

May Your truth shine forth

Illuminating the Way.

Amen

15.

Have you ever wondered

How long will this endless road run?

Have you ever think about

The end that is to come?

Do you live your life in this world

As if it will go on forever

Or do you count your days

Living for this very moment?

I am unafraid of death

For I know I am going home

Into the arms of my everlasting Father

Where He will welcome me into His fold.

But I had a dream one day

A curious one indeed

I was dead in an instant

And at the gates of Heaven I reached.

Outside the gilded gates of eternity

Two separate lines of souls were formed

One was short while the other long

As I was ushered to the former, I wonder.

I saw many familiar faces in the other line

Dear friends I have spent my life with

And strangers I have always seen around town

Of whom I have never dared talked to about Jesus, my saviour and crown.

Then truth hits me with clarity

At the horror of what I have not done

These people will never enter Heaven

For they do not know the Son.

My heart wails in anguish as I cried heavy tears

For the people I will never meet again

In the beautiful Garden of Eden

Because of my own wretched fear.

If only I had seized that moment

The divine appointment on that very day

And walked forth in faith and boldness

With Jesus at my wake.

Oh how I am ashamed

How can I ever face You again?

For I have not done in faith

The precious task You have commissioned

Oh for what use is this Light

If I were to hide it away

Sequestered under cover

Hidden away from the lost?

Oh for what purpose if I am given spiritual food

To feed the hungry and the starving

But instead left it up upon the secret shelf

To collect dust and grow mold?

Oh for what reason if I am bestowed

With a thousand gifts and talents

If I have never used them to their fullest

For the salvation and comfort of others?

Oh woe, oh what grief!

These many wasted years

Always leaving it for a tomorrow

That never appeared.

So my Lord, please forgive me I pray

For not carrying Your message

And conveying Your love

To this desperate generation.

Oh my Lord, please grant me

The faith, love, courage and strength

To do Your bidding and Your will

On the very day, forever and ever.

As so that when I leave this world

I will know that I have done my very best

And that I can now rest

In peace without any regrets.

14.

Where do I stand in this desert place

When unspoken words fall between us

Built this seemingly impenetrable glass wall

As I stare in desperation at Your face

On the other side.

Worn and weary I am shackled

By invisible chains of lies and deceptions

As I beat mercilessly upon this barrier

Till my struggling cease and I fall

On my knees.

And I scream, Oh Lord!

I scream into the voiceless nights

Till my voice is hoarse and my tears flood

Till my broken heart pounds again with passion

Oh Lord, my Father, my God.

Oh my Lord Jesus

Won’t you speak?

Won’t you meet with me?

And break these chains and heal these hurts?

I plead.

Within the quiet a still voice whispers

Do you remember the day He died and arise

The reason of His sacrifice?

Do you remember when you first fell in love with Him

The dance in the flower fields within the breeze?

Oh have you forgotten

The many times you’ve cried

Where He is within each tear that falls

And the moment when He wraps His arms around you

In His peaceful embrace?

Oh how sweet the surrender

When you laid your head upon His lap

Listening to His gentle voice

When all fear and sadness melts away

From just a touch of His hand.

He is never too far to reach

Even when you have strayed

He is only a breath away

When you call with repentance

When all pride is stripped away.

Oh His love is never changing

Neither does it wanes

Even when you turn the other way

He welcomes you into His arms

When you run to His throne again.

My beloved Jesus

Renew my love for You once more

Let all Your delights be my joy

A fresh outpouring of Your Spirit

That fills this emptiness.

13.

Where oh Lord can I hide that You cannot see?

Neither the cloak of darkness

Nor the deep fold of shadows

Can ever conceal me from Your presence.

For Your brilliance exposes my sins

I am stripped bare before Your sight

Only within Your magnificence

Do I realise the weight of my iniquities.

Oh how heavy my Lord this burden

Of which I stubbornly cling

Yet desperate to be rid of

Fearful to surrender its hold to You.

So where can I escape to that You cannot find?

Neither the highest of mountains

Nor the deepest of seas or the farthest of plains

Can ever offer me refuge from Your gaze.

For You knew me even before I knew You

You are intimate with all my ways

Yet Your throne abounds with grace

And I weep in Your ever loving embrace.

So I will run to You my Lord

Be not too far from me

For I am weary with going alone

And men’s strengths always wane.

My Lord is ever patient

With His extended hand

Ever waiting with forgiveness

When I truly repent.

12.

Hear ye, children of God,

Purify and sanctify your mind, body and heart daily

With prayer, confession, repentance, thanksgiving and praise

To our eternal Father and Lord.

Turn your gaze upon our Lord Jesus the perfecter of our faith

Capture every sinful thought and cast them away

Lay every burden and idols which you hold dear at His feet

Free of dead weights, pursue Him, and chase after Him

With fervor and desperation at your heels

Run to Him till you have even the hem of His robe in your tiny clutches

And when you do, do not ever let go nor allow your fist to loosen its grip

For the pursuer will be the pursued

And He will lift you up with firm hands in joyous reprise.

11.

Why O’ my heart are you downcast?

Have Pain and Suffering so smothered you

That you have lost sight of what is right before you?

Surely this tiny seed of faith will not be in vain.

For my Lord, You are always near the broken hearted

Your tender loving arms enfold me within your embrace

You will not abandon me even if the world casts me away

Your faithfulness endures even as mine wanes.

My Lord, my trust I place within Your hands

For Your promise is sure and You will never fail

For You are my rock and refuge

My safe harbour in tempestuous times.

So I will adorn my finest garments and most precious jewels

Rip off my veils of mourning and dress of despair

And dance and sing for joy in worship to my Lord

For You, my Lord lives within my praises.

And I will praise and give thanks to my Lord

All the days of my life

Through every season and trials

For through You, I will overcome.

So do not cease in giving praise

In merry clapping and singing to the Lord

For my Lord is my strength

To laugh in Misery’s face.

Thus be glad my heart, do not be torn asunder

My Lord is with you now and forever

Do not be afraid of what tomorrow may bring

For my Lord brings peace upon his wings

And Fear flees headlong away from Him.

10.

Sing my heart with joyous praise

A new song to the Lord

Day by day without fail

For my peace is in You, my Lord.

You renew my strength, My Lord

When I am worn and weary

You are the well of fresh spring

From which I draw in this desert place.

Oh, my Lord, I cry to You day and night

For the thoughtless words of my enemies are like poison to my veins

And the wounds they have afflicted upon my body

Bleeds as my heart weeps for Your help.

But my Lord, You have established my House

Upon Thy solid Rock

Its foundations inlaid with gold and precious stones

Immovable and everlasting, forever and ever.

The broken crown which I have laid at Thy feet

You have restored upon my head with grace

So that I will walk fearlessly among the lost

With Peace upon my wake.

My Lord, You have given me the garment of Love

As so that I can clothe the naked

You have given me spiritual food

As so that I can feed the hungry.

You have given me rich blessings

As so that I can share them with the poor

That through the gifts You have graciously given

Your Name be glorified on the lips of all nations.

You have bestowed me great gifts of healing

Immeasurable power of prayer

As so that I will constantly speak nothing but Life

Into a captive and enslaved nation.

As so that the blind can now see

The deaf can now listen

The lame walk now with confidence

And the mute shall proclaim Thy glorious Name.

For my Lord is an awesome God

That nothing can contain

And Thy fearful and wondrous might

Extends throughout the universe.

(Especially for Ee Ling on her birthday)

09.

My beloved Lord,

You have given me a beautiful field

A plot of land for me toil

A promise of a bountiful harvest.

A land that was once filled with briar and brambles

You have uprooted and burned them all

And the field is now fit for planting

A glorious harvest calls.

But I am no farmer my Lord

I have neither tools nor knowledge

Nothing but my bumbling hands

My Lord, what should I do?

My Lord then said:

“Do not fret or fear my child

I will teach you what to do

I have prepared the tools

For your dainty hands to use.

I will tell you which seeds to plant

And We will watch them grow

Be sure to water them often

With love, faith and hope.”

My Lord, I have done what You have asked

All the tilling and planting

Even the watering and caring

And now I know not how to continue.

My Lord replied:

“We wait my child

And let Time pass by

Keep watering the field

The harvest will arrive.

I will make the seedlings grow

Tall, graceful and strong

Handsome trees with juicy fruits a laden

And ever more seeds for more.”

But my Lord, the winter chill is coming

And the plants are still so small

How could I sit and do nothing

But helplessly watch?

My Lord smiled and answered:

“My child, I am the master of all

Have I not seen what cannot be foretold?

Be patient I ask you and do what I have taught

The harvest will be plenty and it is such.

For Time will strengthen the plants

And allow much growth

The winter chill will blow through

And they will not be harmed.

For I have given you tender shears to prune them

And with My eyes I am keeping watch

Not a leaf will be destroyed nor a twig be broken

As long as you diligently pray over them.”

My Lord, it is indeed as You say

That my worries are all for naught

The field is now filled with mighty trees

And the harvest will soon come by.

The flowers have budded and blossomed

And the many fruits are growing

My heart flutters with excitement

For it is almost time for reaping.

My basket at ready, my apron adorned

My heart is glad at the fruits galore

My hands are delighted as they reach out to pick

But stilled immediately as a soft voice speak.

My Lord spoke with knowing eyes:

“My child may I inquire

What is this that you plan to do?

The fruits may have grown prettily

Yet they are not ripe for plucking.

Love and Time has yet to seep their way though

To soften and sweeten the fruit

And I will not disappoint you my child

If you will obediently follow My guide.

For I will show you which fruit is ripe

And I will inform you the time

For it is important to get it right

As so the fruit will not be too sour or tough to bite.”

So forgive me my Lord for I am too hasty

And help me wait and listen patiently

For my Lord’s wisdom transcends all

And my Lord’s promise never falls.